We are excited to let you know that although our lawyers forced us to put it here, and make a link on our home page, we made sure that you were going to be able to read it.
The lawyers (who are mean and evil) wanted us to have a complicated way of wording this so you would get into trouble. However, we made it better and wrote it in English that you can understand. So, please be smart and read this so that we do not have to worry about anything.
It could keep you from being contacted by our lawyers (who are actually trolls) and thrown into our kitten dungeon of doom.
The reason that we run this site is so that people like you, or those you like, can use it in order to be entertained, informed, education, communicated to, or gratified in whatever way you feel is best.
Therefore, feel free to browse around to your content!
You can even download stuff here. This must be done only for non-commercial and personal use, however. If you do this, be sure that you do not mess with any of the copyrights on the items. This will cause us to get really mad. They are there for an important reason. This means that you should never allow the thoughts of transmitting, reusing, reposting, modifying, or even distributing any of this stuff cross your mind. This goes for any video, audio, images, or text that you see on this site. Do not do this at all for any commercial purposes.
That means that you have to obey this and any other regulations or laws applying to Earth, The Universe, the World Wide Web, the Internet, your Mom’s rules, and anything else. Do not browse or access any of these if you have a problem with that. If you do, there will be no turning back.
We will find you and we will get you if you mess up.
So, on that note, we present to you our 11 lovely rules! Read them all, please.
- For the sake of every human in the world, please assume that everything on here is copyrighted. Even if it is not, or looks to not be, it might be, so assume it is. This means that you cannot for any reason use the stuff on our page unless we say so, and exactly how we say it. We will not give you permission, anyway. Our lawyers (trolls) will veto it and lock us in the kitten dungeon, so please do not ask, it is awful.
- We really do try (sometimes) to include things on our site, www.strollerreviewed.com, that are accurate. However, we are never going to make you a promise that it is accurate. As a matter of fact, we promise that the only thing you will get from us is entertainment and fun. So, please know that if you use the stuff on here at all, you are using it at your own risk. Any emotional or physical, as well as spiritual, scarring that happens here is not our fault. We will not be held responsible or liable for it or for any omissions or errors on our site.
- Anybody involved in the creation, production, or delivering of things on this site are not liable for things that happen to you on this site. This means that nothing that happens to you is our fault, even if we wanted it to happy (which we will not, but our lawyers do). The lawyers want us to write this really big and confusing thing below for you to read. It is confusing, but we have to write it. “Consequential, direct, indirect, or incidental, and punitive damages arising from your using of this site, or access to, cannot be blamed on us. This means that anything that happens on this site is provided to you ‘as is’. This also means that no warranties, be they implied or expressed, or merchant warranties, or even non-infringement, can be used against us. In addition, any jurisdictions that might not allow applied warranties to be excluded may not apply to you (whatever that means). Please check local laws and stuff to see if you are excluded.” That was a whole bunch of craziness, but in short, it means that nothing happens to use if you destroy your computer, scar your children’s minds, or blow your home up because of this site. We are not to blame and you cannot go after us. Sorry! Be safe with what you see, do, or try, and you will be fine, but do not come telling us if something goes wrong. You can send pictures, though! We like pictures.
- If you do not want every person who visits this site to know something about you, you really should not post it on the site in any manner. Once you post something on our site, it actually belongs to us. Yay! Therefore, we will be able to do anything we want with it. We will be able to disclose, reproduce, transmit, publish, show your boss and family, post, or broadcast it wherever we want. We can even use any concepts, ideas, expertise, techniques, secrets of life, or anything else that you post. We will be able to market, manufacture, develop, include, and resort to mind control to get what we want with what you post.
- Any pictures that you see on here of places or people are our property, or the property of someone who is affiliated with us. At no point in time will it ever be yours, so do not touch it. If you or your little friends think they can use it anywhere, you are wrong. Never try to use it or we will send the troll lawyers after you and you will be sorry. The kitten dungeon will be waiting for you. They scratch and bite, and do not let you sleep. So, keep what you download to yourself, or spend an eternity in a dungeon. Either way is fine with us!
- There are a bunch of things like service marks, logos, and trademarks on this site. We use them because we or someone else owns them. You do not have any right to use them at all and we will not give you one. Also, do not ask us, and be sure that if you do touch them you will make us mad. We turn large and green when we get mad, and lose our self-control. So, leave them, alone and you will be fine. The prosecutors love when people do this, though.
- There are bunches of links on our page that we have to other sites. While we know these are cool, we do not really pay attention to what they are. Therefore, if you are sucked into another dimension because you browsed too far, it is not our fault. This is why you have to be careful and take no risks, unless you feel risky. We cannot be held responsible or liable for any of these things.
- This brings us to the things that you do on our wonderful page! We do love to listen, read, and watch the things that you do in our chats, forums, and discussions. However, we take zero liability or responsibility for the things that you see. This means that any content that counts as mistakes, libel, defamation, slander, omissions, obscenity, falsehoods, porn (ew), or profanity that you encounter cannot be blamed on us. In addition, do not be stupid by posting things that are libelous, defamatory, unlawful, scandalous, obscene, nasty, evil, porn (ew), or illegal on our page. We like people to have fun, but if your fun scares us at all, we will go after you. If you think what you are doing will result in criminal charges or bring you to court, do not do it. We will go after you if this happens, which is not going to be fun for either of us, so be careful!
- The things that we use on this site are protected by countless US Patriotic Laws. This means that you cannot download, see, or send this to anybody in Syria, Iran, North Korea, Iraq, Libya, The Moon, The Death Star, or anywhere that the US has Embargoed Goods. In addition, anybody on the Table of Deny Orders, the Most Wanted List, Dark Jedi Lists, or the Specially Designated Nationals list cannot see or use this site. If you belong to these groups or from the aforementioned places, you can be sure we Light Jedi will find you, our lawyers will get you, and you will probably disappear. You cannot sit with us! Go away.
- We are going to change our page at any time we feel like it, so you have to handle that. This is because it is our page, not yours, and our programmers use mind control to change things through us. Therefore, if we change the page for no reason it is because we can. You are stuck with these changes (sorry, not sorry), and have to abide by them.
We will try to settle between ourselves, but if this does not work, we will find a mediator within the aforementioned country.
We will split all fees between us, except attorney fees. If this is impossible, we will have to turn to the big people. This means that American Arbitration Association steps up and make a final ruling. Please do not let it get to this point. You will hate it and will be in the grips of our lawyers, so do not do this. We might get money, but then we have to worry about dealing with you forever.
The judgment awarded by these arbitrators will be final with no take backs.
We assume that we have you scared, but please understand that we changed this to scare you less. Our lawyer troll ninjas wanted you to mess up so they could get you. We had to remind them that we have laws or something.
We will try to elaborate.